FRED + FAR ON CHOOSING YOURSELF
Melody Godfred believes in a women's right to choose and that complete control over her body, her mind, and her future is inviolable. From this belief came the Fred + Far and the Self Love Pinky Ring — a ring that symbolizes belonging and worth, a ring that is a commitment to ones self. Because if we love ourselves first, we can love others easier.
DO YOU THINK IT'S HARD FOR WOMEN TO KEEP THEIR CREATIVE SPIRIT ALIVE OR DO YOU THINK THE WORLD, AS IT IS RIGHT NOW, MAKES IT COME OUT EASIER?
I think it is a hard for anyone to keep his or her creative spirit alive—being that most of us spend the majority of our time in front of screens instead of engaging with people, places, smells, sounds and life out in the real world. At the same time, there are an abundance of tools and opportunities provided through the digital domain that make self-expression and connection with global audiences easier than ever before. For me, the trick is to make sure I spend as much time creating and connecting in the real world as I do in the digital one.
CAN YOU TELL US A BIT ABOUT THE ISSUES THAT HAVE FORGED YOUR POLITICAL CONSCIOUSNESS AS WELL AS THE ISSUES YOU THINK WOMEN FACE TODAY?
I believe a woman should have the right to choose. My company’s slogan is Choose Yourself. A woman’s right to complete control over her body, her mind, and her future is inviolable. I think those who prefer a more archaic approach to social harmony see a woman who chooses herself as a threat. Part of the reason I created the Self Love Pinky Ring was to change the way women are perceived. When you see a woman walking down the street, a year ago the only ring that symbolized belonging and worth was an engagement ring. My goal is to change that.
DO YOU BELIEVE WOMEN SHOULD RELY ON HERSELF AND MAKE HER OWN WAY?
I believe in the power of a tribe. This is one of the reasons Fred and Far is as much about building an empowering, supportive, and authentic community of women, as it is about each individual woman choosing herself. Tribes do not need to be gender specific. In my life, I rely on a tribe of men and women to help me raise my daughters, manage my businesses, and thrive personally. I do believe that once a woman takes full responsibility for her sense of security, rather than relying on a partner to provide it, she eliminates a lot of the tension and pain that makes being in a relationship challenging. People making their way individually, while providing non-judgmental, unconditional support and love as a tribe member, is what I value.
WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WOMEN AS COMPETITIVE?
I have two four-year-old daughters. They go to school, and when they come home, I hear all the details about how the girls play, and how the boys play. The girls have competitions, are exclusive, and often make certain girls feel left out and less than. The boys get together and play “bad guys” and scare the girls. No one is left out. No one is made to feel small. No one hears the words, “You can’t play with us,” which is something at least one of my daughter’s hears all the time. It’s painful.
I do think women are competitive. I think it is intrinsic. I think it starts with the pressure women put on themselves, which then gets projected onto other women. If we love ourselves first, loving other women becomes easier.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE YOUR BRAND DOES FOR PEOPLE?
So much. I hope it lets women know that they are worthy of the highest love: their own. That they are welcome, witnessed, and desired, by our tribe, by the world. That no one is defined by her marital status, mental health status, body size, or countless other labels we apply to ourselves or society applies to us. I hope it communicates that changing how you feel about yourself – and as an extension of that how you feel about your life – is something that you can transform at any moment, at any stage of life. That where you put your intention has tremendous power, and that if you believe a pinky ring will change your life, it will (and it has). That being a woman is powerful beyond belief, and connecting with yourself, and other women, through acts of self love and self care, can and will have a profound impact on the planet.
WHEN A GIRL LOOKS DOWN AT THE SELF LOVE PINKY RING, WHAT DO YOU HOPE THEY FEEL?
I hope it makes her feel Chosen. Worthy. Whole. Magical. Witnessed. Powerful. Enough. Loved.
“PROFOUND CHANGE WILL BE POSSIBLE ONLY IF WE BUILD A GRAND FEMALE TRADITION THAT MEN ARE FORCED TO MEASURE THEMSELVES AGAINST." HOW DOES THIS QUOTE MAKE YOU FEEL?
Unbalanced. Change can only come about when there is compete integration – within ourselves as women, and within our society. It’s about embracing the masculine and the feminine. The union between the two is what is missing from the world right now. Women choosing themselves is what I believe will get us closer to achieving that union.
DO YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE LOVE FOR YOURSELF, OR IS IT SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO WORK ON EVERYDAY?
I do love myself. I know this because I’ve taken great care in the past few years to get to know myself, and to have gratitude and a place for all my parts, even the darkest. The challenge is to show that love through acts of self care on a daily basis. Despite starting this movement as a response to my generationally inherited expertise in self sacrifice, I still need help prioritizing myself and the needs of my body and mind. Things as simple as standing up from the computer, drinking water, getting meaningful rest, eating, stretching, journaling, and breathing are things that I can easily forego if it means doing something for my customers, kids, employees, friends, spouse, family members, etc. I’m connected with my mind and my heart. I’m working on becoming more connected with my body.
ONE THING YOU TELL YOURSELF EVERY DAY?
Do the things you’ll remember or feel the impact of ten years from now.